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You can try running a query like
insert into database1.dbo.mailbox MA select * from database2.dbo.mailbox MB where MB.recid
not in (select recid from database1.dbo.mailbox) and XXXXXX
replace the xxxxx with some other conditions that will exclude the inserting of duplicate of mailbox records that already exists.
this technique, applied to the various other 'golddir' tables, could be a way forward for your situation. You'd have to be very careful about tables like mailbox and cal where things like begboard records, gmviews, etc. reside. Avoiding duplication of those could be troublesome.
Beyond that approach, though, you might consider simply using SYNC to ferry the stuff over.
Turned out to be an easy solution. Because the main database was actually a copy of the other database (a long time ago) I was getting the dups. So I simply kept running my query based on the date created and I was able to find the time period when there were no dups. So I reran the insert from that date forward and no errors.
All of your suggestions were good to document and remember for the future. Thank you